1. Oxycodone is really great stuff–but only the first time you take it. After that, it has no effect. At all.
2. But, after just two doses, if you stop taking it, you get the shakes.
3. Armpit surgery is… well… the pits. Even if the incision is a fraction of the size of the others–that’s the one that’ll make you catch your breath. Who knew?
4. It’s all fun and games until they ask you to remove the shrink wrap, and you realize you should have shaved your entire body before submitting to the knife. Because this:
5. What’s that you say? never heard of surgical shrink wrap? Yeah, well, it’s the thing now. It’s like… a cross between plastic wrap and superglue. I’m going to attempt to remove this one today, as I am beginning to lose feeling in my fingers, but I’m hoping the others will loosen up on their own. Maybe after I take a shower? I’m allowed to do that in two hours.
Not… that anyone’s counting.