Hi, My Name is Kimber

Well.

First of all: Aroma Rice Cooker, Costco, less than 30 bucks. Worth every stinkin’ penny. I bought it two weeks ago, and I’m in love. It also works as a crock pot, and I don’t use the term “works” and “crock pot” in the same breath lightly.

Second of all, speaking of two weeks ago: Remember that one time, back in 2012 when I was going nuts writing a 500,000 page Master’s thesis, and my bedroom walls were covered with sticky notes and I stopped washing my laundry, sorting my silverware, eating, sleeping, and even seriously considered delegating the act of breathing, but it would have taken too much time to interview anyone else for the position and so I continued to do it for myself?

Yeah. That time. And remember what you promised me?

That you would never… let me… (is it coming back? yes?  that devastating feeling creeping up on you–that’s guilt, I’m glad you are not totally heartless) … that’s right: You promised to never let me pursue a Phd.

In fact, if I remember correctly, you took a solemn oath to remove my thumbs if I even considered it. And clearly, sinceI’mnottypinglikethis,youmusthavedroppedtheball.

Because WSU just conditionally accepted me into their doctoral program, pending GRE scores. Got the letter today. Where were you two weeks ago when my outgoing application was in that mailbox, hmmm?

Not to worry. I may still redeem you from your neglect by failing the quantitative section of the GRE I have to take on Monday, even though I’ve had two weeks to review for it, along with 106 pages of math review materials with which to do so.  I’m nice like that.

Or just really, really unmotivated. Every time I’ve sat down to look it over I decide to take up tennis or organize the files on my thumb drive instead.  And now that it’s Saturday night and I have exactly four hours and 7 minutes left to study, obviously I’m going to blog–and eat rice, from my awesome cooker, in which (if I fail to redeem you from your neglect by failing to fail the GRE) I will be making dinner every day for the next four years because I will never be here in person to supervise food in a real pan on an actual stove top.

Is there such a thing as a 12 step program for people who continually find themselves enrolled in degree seeking programs?


2 responses to “Hi, My Name is Kimber

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: