I just made a potato salad you are morally obligated to try.
Seriously. Not trying it ranks right up there with killing small, helpless animals (which, actually, I did this week, but that’s no excuse for you), telling your best friend that her infant is adorable when clearly it’s not even human, and craving oysters.
First of all, boil 15 eggs, and 15 whole, lemon-sized Yukon potatoes.
(Yes, lemon-sized Yukons. If your local grocer doesn’t carry them, you’re out of luck and your culinary soul is doomed to eternal writhing. Kidding… Potatoes, folks. In about that amount. Eyeball it.)
Also, only boil the potatoes until they are just barely done. Unless you enjoy mush, in which case, boil away. Or just use instant mashed potatoes. Or rice cereal.
If you go with the fresh potato route, you’ll have about 15 minutes while they boil to:
dice one cup each of celery, green peppers, red peppers, onion, and dill pickle.
Add one cup of fat-free mayo.
Stir in 1/4 cup mustard, 1/4 cup vinegar, 1/4 tsp garlic powder
Cool and chop eggs (peeled, duh) and potatoes (those, actually, don’t peel), and stir them into everything else.
Seriously. Try it. Because if it is life changing, I will have made the universe a better place and possibly it will forgive me for mangling small house pets (yes, plural) in the engine of my motor vehicle. And also, when you taste it, that last image will be obliterated from your consciousness along with every other tragic event of your life. You will sit there on your kitchen floor and eat all 2700 calories of it. For a reduced calorie version, allow someone else to lick the bowl.