Act Now! Limited Time Offer!

Oh yes, I did.

I have the blisters and the green feet to prove it.

Leaning against that tree is an antique Montgomery Ward mower with “whispering 6000” blades. The real McCoy. If you get a running start at the edge of the lawn, the blades actually do turn. And cut (most of) the grass. And yes, ole Montgomery’s conception of whispering is on par with your average four-year-old’s.  Although, it possibly wasn’t always this loud. This thing has wooden handles. What lawnmower in recent history was crafted out of wood?

It only took me a couple of hours.

The environment better thank me. Then again, I am now hungry enough to eat half a beef, in which case the damage to the environment will probably be worse than if I used a gas mower. Cows being such a worrisome source of pollution nowadays.

Have you been considering a gym membership lately? Pffft. I have an irresistible offer for you. Come over to my house. I’ll let you use my lawnmower with the whispering blades at absolutely no cost to you. I’ll even throw in a five gallon jug of ice water, with free refills as needed. All you have to do is sign medical and liability waivers.

You know you want to.