I have an idea:
Call your child care provider at 10pm and wake her up to let her know you'll be at her house shortly after five a.m. the next morning. Because otherwise, she'll probably be out on a walk or in the shower or something important like that when you come.
And then don't show up at all. And don't call. Just waste her priceless time and sap her energy by preventing that walk and that shower with your self-centered behavior.
And be sure you're on State pay, too, because then she can't even charge you for not showing up.
I didn't say it was a good idea…