- Broom #1: Discovered on the fourth side of the fence–the porch wraps around here, and I didn't think of looking in this nook initially. I was very excited to locate this broom, until I realized it had been watered thoroughly with the hose…while it was sitting in the dirt…
- Broom #2: After enough of my children drug their behinds out of bed yesterday, I started interrogations, and my thirteen year old explained that he was trying to enter the under-construction garage the night before without letting the cat in; he needed the broom in order to poke said cat out long enough to pull the door shut. The cat really is a psycho; he will not be deterred from his intended course. I spent two hours the other morning just trying to keep the thing off my lap/shoulders/out of my hair. When I refused to stare into his eyes, nose to nose, which is what he demanded and never tired of, and it really freaked me out (have you ever breathed recycled cat air for an extended period of time?), the thing began stalking my hands. I tried to hide them under my book, but he'd head butt his way under there and bat at them; I tried hiding them under my armpits–he squeezed between me and the chair and bit my fingertips. I'd just gotten out of the shower, too. (Maybe cats like soap?) I finally broke a vine off the fence and swung it around randomly while I studied. He never got tired of attacking it. This broom was returned temporarily to me, and has since disappeared again. I'm thinking maybe we just need a cat stick.
- Broom#3: Still missing. I'm inclined to buy into P.S.'s theory, that it's buried under the bark somewhere–we've permanently lost several shoes and possibly a telephone to that pit. No children, yet. Although, I did catch a child using it as a litter box, if you will. After several episodes of this, I began to duct tape the child's diaper on. This only works if you wrap the tape all the way around the child's body at least twice, by the way. I know, I know, the fact that she could accomplish this feat screams "potty train me!!!" but she isn't here regularly enough for me to really jump on that wagon. We tried, we failed, we taped.
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