The Six Year Old Monologues

"Kimber, why is that fence like that?"

"Like wh–?"
"Do you think that horse will let me pet it? We have a dog like that horse, did you know? His name is Brian, but I always call him Ryan–get it? Brian-Ryan?"
"Wow."
"Tricky, isn't it? Hey, do you ever look at the road when you walk?"
"Uh-huh."
"How come you didn't see that the road was broken back there?"
"Uh. . . I was prob–"
"I'm going to take a piece of this road home to my mom."
"Okay."
"Oh NO! That little chick got out of her fence!"
"That's a killdeer."
"A WHAT?!"
"Never mind... It's a bird. A mama bird–and her chicks are only the size of–"
"Hey, did you ever watch Princesses and Tiaras?"
"Nope."
"It's this show, and you get all this make up on and get your hair done pretty and you wear a tiara, and I'm going to be on it."
"Yeah?"
"I'll tell you when I'll be on it, so you know when to watch, okay?"
"Alright."
"But first my mom has to buy me a violin, so I can learn how to play it, because you have to do a talent and I don't want to just show everyone my piece-of-a-broken-road-collection."
Heavens, no. We did, however, have a panic attack at midnight when Mom arrived, and the chunk of asphalt went temporarily missing…

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7 responses to “The Six Year Old Monologues

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