Now You Know

In talking to the financial aid office at the college the other day, I was having a difficult time understanding what the receptionist was suggesting until I realized she was discreetly trying to ask if I was over forty. Without asking. Without making it necessary for me to confirm or deny. (Apparently there are scholarships for women of a certain age.)

I guess I didn't know there were still people who were squeamish about discussing aging.
Really…does it matter if you know how old I am?
Will it change anything–except for maybe what scholarships I am currently eligible for?
Which, by the way, I'm not–seeing as I'm white, not guilty of any felonies, and have a parent who graduated college–which, albeit expensive, is probably as it should be. 
In other news, I attended the cub scout Blue and Gold banquet last night with my sons. I am ashamed to say that I was bored out of my mind and very cynical about the entire evening. I would say more, but the guilt would probably eat away at me all day until I was compelled to delete the post entirely for fear of offending somebody. 
That and at some core level I was counting my lucky stars that it wasn't me up there relating the history of scouting, not to mention that I didn't have to plan, cook, decorate or set up for the event. All I had to do was show up and resist rolling my eyes. Which I mostly was successful at. 
The night was not a complete loss, as I snuck out for half an hour and did some grocery shopping: twenty-three boxes of cereal, 48 cans of veggies, three tubs of yogurt and a bag of salad; the checker asked if I ran a daycare; I asked how she knew; she raised one painted-on brow. 
Can I here observe that I made it back before anyone noticed my absence, the opening flag ceremony began, or the first scoop of sloppy joe plopped onto the first paper plate?
I also deleted two years worth of old numbers off my cell phone, which felt predictably good, considering the owners of  said numbers. And cleaned out my inbox.
Which left just over an hour to control the rolling of the eyes and any drawn out or audible sighing. 
I'm not really that old and crabby, am I?
Here's the thing–intellectually, I understand what a dynamic program scouting can be. What an influence for good in a boy's life. I get that–and I encourage my boys to attend. But so far, even though I've served in scouting myself for years, and my boys have muddled through it, I can't really get myself to care who started it, or in what year, or who has how many patches and pins and who doesn't. And I certainly didn't enjoy skits and group games when I was a child–so why would I enjoy it in my old age? 
Which is all of 34 years, if you're wondering but are too squeamish to ask. (There, now you know–does it change anything for you?) 
Yeesh, I am crabby, aren't I? 
Maybe I should go sit on the floor and build myself a really tall tower of Lego's for the babies to knock over, get in touch with the inner child I was born without. 

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12 responses to “Now You Know

  • Freedom Smith

    I love you honesty! Of course you were bored to tears, as we all are, just no one will admit it. I was very bored sitting through the fifth grade chapel yesterday, oh yes, listening to them read lines off of sheets of paper. Wow..so not riveting. Glad it made my daughter happy that I was there. Got a few half decent pictures of her. That was the sum total of what I gained by going. Now I get to watch the fifth grade drama club perform their play on Thursday night…my daughter is a FISH!! Now…I wonder how many minutes she will be on stage? Boring…probably. I will snap a few pictures and she will feel loved. No one told me there would be so many moments like this!!! Most of us parents get these moments….not the experience of the Olympic Gold Medal Winners parents. Nope. We get to sit through incredibly boring performances, clapping and taking pictures, so our kids feel loved. Guess what I get to do in May!!! I get to attend the fifth grade graduation ceremony!! Oh joy…and back to back with that ceremony, will be the eighth grade graduation ceremony!! Wow….thrilling…LOL. OK, do I now have to play with legos cause I really do not want to? I have an inner child…but she likes to do fun stuff…like dance to the music my teens listen too…and take cool pictures….and laugh with my kids….and take them shopping…and laugh over the fact that my teen girls are too mortified to tell Mr what feminine products they need at the grocery, and paint our nails together, and laugh that a couple of my daughters have bypassed my bra size….those are the fun moments…not the presentations and the ceremonies. At least, that has been my experience. I am going to go walk on the treadmill now, while you play with legos, LOL!!! I hope you and I do not get a lot of hate mail for being so honest!!

  • Alicia

    My brother was involved with scouts for a long time, but I can't disagree with you when you say some of their ceremonies are… redundant and boring. I didn't like girls camp, where we did some things that scouts do. I guess my inner child is stifled by excessive girl drama. You must have a inner child to run a day care! 😀 I mean, if you didn't you'd be going mad by now.

  • Kimber

    You say that like you still believe in my sanity…

  • Ladywise

    Put yourself in timeout for a couple of minutes and you'll feel all better. No one thinks you are strange for being bored, we would think you were strange if you came in talking about how much you enjoyed it all.
    I did 12 years of little league football, then there was baseball, basketball, cheerleading, high school band, blah blah blah. Spend the night parties, birthday parties, blah blah blah. I don't even like kids anymore. I'll take the hate mail. lol

  • P.S.

    Sounds like you run 90 mph to get everything done. Quick- efficient- clean- no muss- no fuss and then ………………….you…………….grind………….to…………a………..halt…….at a ………….s..l..o..w…. scout activity. I don't blame you for sneaking out to get some shopping done. I am glad you saw the bright side- (that YOU didn't have to set-up plan and do the whole thing! whew!) What is your time line for your boys to be Eagle Scouts?
    AND YOU ARE 34 YEARS OLD!!!(of course I knew that- I'm a know it all) Kimber- I know no one that has packed her mere 34 years with so many lifetimes! I love reading about all of them! Have a great day and hopefully you'll get to do something special- today- just for you!

  • Karen

    Omigosh, Kimber, I have missed your posts! This one was so good. You sound so much like me, only younger and getting paid for watching all those kids in your house. 8 boys and I still couldn't get into scouting. When I got called to be assistant bear den leader 3 years ago I wanted to kill myself. The pack meetings alone were pure torture. Then the bishop called me in to be Relief Society president, and I was ecstatic–Yes! I get out of scouting!

  • Kimber

    "I wanted to kill myself"? HA! So been there. But we all get through it, don't we? I would find it easier to like if my boys liked it, but they are as bored as I am with it! They don't mind working on the badges, etc, and neither do I; it's the eternal redundancy of the people who like to talk about it.

  • Kimber

    My timeline–are you kidding? You mean I have to be involved?;o)

  • P.S.

    HAHAHA! I was waiting for a comment like that! Tee Hee! Our boys were sent home with pine wood blocks last month….hehehheheh!

  • angie

    The next thing I want you to write for me to read is your autobiography. You've fit so much life into 34 years! I'm only 2 years younger than you and I feel like I've done nothing. You're one amazing woman!!

  • Kimber

    Hmmmm. I want to know how autobiographies are even possible; how do you write a true story without yet knowing the end…

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