I have applied to graduate school. Okay, it probably isn't official; the mailman hasn't actually come yet; there is still time to go retrieve the thing from my mailbox.
But I'm not.
I'm going to start in August and I'm going to give up my Friday evenings and all day, every Saturday, for more than two years in pursuit of a degree that I may or may not ever use.
Because I have a relentless compulsion to torture myself anew whenever I've completed whatever project was last tormenting me?
Because I am fascinated with the process of teaching? Because I never feel so fully alive as I do at four a.m., when I hit upon that perfect hook that will snag even the most belligerent thirteen year old's attention and reel her in and get her to ask questions and contribute answers and think?
Funny thing, though: I honestly cannot picture myself teaching in the public school system. I'm pretty sure I'd rather keep my current job.
But I can't not do this program.
For whatever reason.