Cats in the Drain Pipe and Bureaucrats Who Maybe Should Be

Speaking of water that isn't draining when it should, and other general items of baloney, I discovered a few more things today:
1) The slow shower in the master bath had nothing to do with the non-draining washing machine we fixed yesterday. No. This problem clearly had more to do with the plug of hair the Mr. pulled out of the drain this morning. (Are you noticing a trend here? I mean aside from the ick factor? I didn't fix this problem, either. Delegation: I could get used to this…) 
This was no ordinary hairball. We're talking a record breaking, Guinness sized hairball. Picture a good-sized house cat; grow its hair out to 24"-36" lengths; coat it with sludge; cram it into a 4" drain pipe. Now pull it out with a gag-reflex inducing shlurp. 
That's the enormity of the thing he extracted this morning. And since he's pretty much hairless, I'm guessing it's all mine. All evidence points to the probability that my hair really is thinning. Sniff.
2) To renew my childcare license I will have to pump my septic tank before March.  Whether it needs it or not. Can you imagine the variety of prizes they could dredge up out of there? 
I also need to submit a resume and get three more professional, non-related referrals to fill out a questionnaire and send it in, and I get to do all the same paperwork I did three years ago to get this job. Same job. Same employer. Same everything. The new background check and current CPR/first aid thing I understand, but an updated resume? Seriously? Do they think that in my free time I've had another job that qualifies me even more for this position? Are they going to fire me if I submit the identical resume they already have on file? 
Can they not look at their files and see that I've been paying union dues–for a union to which I do NOT belong, and who I believe to be just slightly more legit than the Russian Mafia–to a tune significant enough that it is obvious I'm doing this full time and successfully and have been for the three years since the last resume and work history I submitted?
Does your employer make you reapply and jump through all the hoops every three years? Do they? Is this reasonable? Under my most recent job description should I write something like, "Childcare, Plumber, Filler-outer of ridiculous forms generated by government bureaucrats over and over and over..." 
Under the section that asks, "Do you have any experiences, skills or talents that qualify you for this position?" Should I respond, "Yes, and I'd be using and/or honing them, right now, if I wasn't filling out this form."?
My license expires in March of 2010. 

They want my application back by December 5th. 

I feel so respected, appreciated, and understood.
Bring it on, DEL. You picked a bad week and I don't see it getting any rosier in the near future.

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5 responses to “Cats in the Drain Pipe and Bureaucrats Who Maybe Should Be

  • Karen

    Are you kidding me? You have to join a union to operate a day care? Please tell me I misunderstood that statement.

  • Kimber

    Oh no–you don't have to "join" you just have to pay dues. 3% of your income. They call it something like objection fees. It's dues. And they bombard me daily with their political viewpoints and activist rhetoric, which I don't agree with, but apparently, I have to support.

  • ken

    my sister ran a daycare in vermont for 15 years but she called it a hobby ,skipped alot of the paperwork.

  • Kara

    Do it! Put in those sassy remarks. My friend did it with their taxes. And it was hilarious. You'll feel better. I promise.

  • Kimber

    Yeah–did you see on the Today Show a couple weeks ago? There was this bus stop outside a woman's house and a lot of the kids were getting dropped off early in the dark and cold because moms had to get to work, so she opened up her front room for them to wait for the bus. For free. No charge. She is now being prosecuted for running an unlicensed daycare. True story. They told her that if a child visited her house, and the parents were not at their own house, for the entire duration of the child's visit, then she needs a license. Ridiculous. State regulations vary, but most of them are ridiculous. Depends a lot on your neighbors–unfortunately we have the type that would report.

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