We speak a different language–my children and I.
They are not dimwitted or diabolical; a language barrier is the only explanation. We grunt the same consonants and vowels, but the meaning I assign to the combination of sounds thereof clearly has an entirely different definition in the children's dialect. Words like clean, folded, sweep, shut, after, before, don't, and NO; phrases like just a minute, I don't know, we don't have any, and any reference to any specific time frame.
It's like trying to define color to the blind.