That Was Sl-easy

Once upon a time a girl bought a computer.

Not any computer, but a brand new computer from the slightly more expensive office supply store in her home town with the big banner flapping over the entrance that promised said supply store could fix any computer problem. Easy.

Girl had a business that required contant vigilance. Girl needed fast and dependable internet access 24 hours a day. Girl asked for the best, longest extended warranty in the house. Girl grilled sales manager on details of warranty. Does the warranty cover hardware malfunction? Yup. What if I spill orange juice in the keyboard? Absolutely. What if I take the tower and push it off the desk into a vat of boiling acid? We'll fix it! That Was Easy! is playing in her head as she rolls her new computer out the door in a bright red shopping cart.

Girl takes computer home. Soon computer prompts girl to make system recover discs; just in case.

Girl goes back to said supply store and buys double sided DVD's, and takes them home. Starts the disc creation process. Inserts first disc. Waits. Inserts second disc. Computer spits out second disc and says it needs to be the same type as first disc. Examines package. Five discs. Should be identical. Takes them back to store. Same sales guy reassures girl she doesn't really need system restore discs. Computer comes with restore built right in. And she has the three year warranty, after all.

Halloween. Computer starts crashing. It has been a year and a day, so supply store can't fix the computer any more.Yes, we know you bought the three year warranty, but after a year, suddenly it is beyond our repair capacity. Someone out of some far off place now has to be called to fix it. They try. Fail. Crash, crash crash, four, five, ten times a day. February now. Wipe your hard drive using the built in system recovery to restore to factory settings. Okay. Crash, crash, crash, and all those tax documents you spent days on? Gone.

Another appointment. You made system recovery discs, right?


Oh, well, no problem, here's a number; you can order a set from HP. They're only about fifty bucks. When they come, try that–see if it helps.  


This is why I bought a warranty! I spent fifteen years of my life dismantling various appliances and reconstructing them. I want YOU to fix it this time. Maybe you should start marketing a new button. One you hit every time you sell one of your "warranties" and it says, "That Was Sleazy."

I think I might be in the market for a vat of boiling acid soon.  


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