Aunt S

My husband has this aunt. Good old Aunt S, we'll call her. I love Aunt S. If it weren't for her, nothing would ever get done. I have actually invited her to events precisely because she is such a take charge type of person–she keeps everyone in line, and everything on track. I like that–then I don't have to stand up there and clap my hands and say, "Everyone, look at me, Iisten to me, do what I say." I'm happy to be a drone,you know?

So yesterday, Aunt S had invited everyone over for some races and games in her field before our traditional fourth of July dinner/reunion. I was one of the first people on site, so I walk over to the garage. Aunt S has an armload of clipboards and a sack of balls over her shoulder and she is picking up a five gallon bucket full of more equiptment. She's a strong little lady–no doubt. Probably close to 70, but strong. I would never dispute that. But hey, my hands are empty, so I say, "You want me to get that?"

"Oh, no," she says. "I'm probably in better shape than you are."

"Aunt S!" I say, "I think I'm going to have to arm wrestle you for that!"

"Oh, you might win," she says, as she starts off down to the pasture, "But you kind of walk with a limp, you know."

Oh.

Random thoughts from the old people.

So later, we've all laughed about this. I think it's pretty funny. (Although I have to admit that if she hadn't said that, I probably wouldn't have run in the footrace.) We've been making cracks all day about my having misplaced my wheelchair, etc. And is she getting senile? But we don't really think so–it was just some weird thing she said, right? So I'm sitting on the front steps with my sister-in-laws M and K, and she comes up. "M!!" she says, all concern. "My goodness. You're almost bald! Has your hair always been that thin?" Might I mention that M has really been struggling with this. She has done everything she can to minimize the problem, to look nice inspite of it.

More random comments from Aunt S.

If it weren't so funny, it would be sad or terrifying. She seems to be entirely coherent. Except for these comments–so either she isn't all there, or she's just . . . developed a really rude streak? 

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